The last night on 4 legs
I’m sitting here on my sofa next to Bubbles as she snores. I still can’t believe I’ll be leaving her at 7am tomorrow morning. I decided the family will go to leave her so we can all give her kisses, and so my son can understand what we’ve been telling him for the last few days- the vet is taking Bubbles’ leg because it is hurting her too much. He’s been kissing her non stop, caressing her leg, saying “awww..” and asking, “the doctor take Bubbles’ leg? Bubbles hurt?” For an almost 3 year old, I think he’s really grasping the concept. The lovely photos on here of such happy fur babies on their three legs has helped our family explain this all to him. We are so thankful for that.
Today in particular, Bubbles has been significantly using her leg less. Hardly resting it on the ground, and she stumbled a bit in our kitchen when going to get a drink of water. My heart hurts for her. Everything is difficult for me to swallow- the possibility of having lost her, her being in pain, the amputation.. I can’t help but consider her my “human” child. I mean, I have two babies who came after Bubs, but I have always adored her, and I love her like I do my children. To me, its like knowing your SIX YEAR OLD is going through such a thing. As a parent, you have no control, and you just grieve.
Here’s one of the last few photos of Bubbles sleeping away on the sofa as usual. I took a couple shots of the ankle the tumor seems to be swallowing whole to remind myself that I am doing the right thing for her. I know I’ll be an absolute MESS tomorrow.
Tuesday, 1/15 Update
I left a message with our vet on Friday, since he was out for the weekend and returning today. I have been antsy to say the least and when we approached 1 in the afternoon, I decided I’d give another call. I spoke to the receptionist who let me know our doctor had received our message, was going to return my call when he got a moment, but it was a good idea to leave a message with their surgical department so we can get the ball rolling on a surgery date. The anticipation is killing me..
Above is a photo of Bubs picking up her leg that aches so much. You can see the lump in her ankle, and I’m afraid to say I’ve noticed an increase in size over the last few days. As scared as I am for this amputation, I an anxious to get this leg off that is causing so much pain and get my baby healthy again. Will post as soon as I hear from our vet.
Support for Surgery
Leaving no room as usual.
I quickly got home, and did a general search online. I found a fund raising website called and filled everything out in a few minutes, and began posting everywhere I could think of. We have maybe a solid week, beyond that, I didn’t want to wait. So far the turn out has been amazing thanks to all of our friends and family coming together and making this happen for Bubbles. We still have plenty more to raise, but I feel confident my baby girl will get her surgery and continue her years as she should- happy and pain free.
I am thankful I have an amazing friend who is a certified dog obedience trainer. She trained Bubs as a pup and certified her with her Canine Good Citizen. Bubbles has much more to do before she leaves this earth. With her story as of now, Bubbles was meant to put smiles on many faces, more so than she already has. Planned for her is a full recovery, and to venture into the world of therapy dogs. I feel my babe is a little furry angel on earth and I vow as her mama to certify her so she can share her story, and put smiles on the faces of children who are as unfortunate as she was to be stricken with cancer. Those beautiful souls need a spark of hope, and I know my Bubbles is the perfect little being to do so.
Our Final Conclusion
Loving on my Bubs
Its a Thursday and my husband asked for the day off. We didn’t know how this vet visit was going to go. Could we bring her home? Do we have to say goodbye? Not a clue. I kept observing her breathing- if it was in her lungs, could I hear it? My brain was spinning, and I kept looking over my shoulder to the backseat where Bubbles pressed her squishy mug on the window. She loves being in the car, people watching, or when you roll the window down and she lets her lips and ears flap in the wind. She is such a ham.
We get to the vet, check in, and are quickly called back. They take her weight, 53 lbs, and put us in a room. Her vet walks in, assures me he’s confident her lungs are alright but we needed to be sure through x-ray. They had just finished putting in a new radiology room, so that eased my nerves that we were getting the most accurate answers here. All this is so important. A nurse comes over and loves up Bubs right before getting her in a soft wedge on the x-ray table. You have always been able to maneuver her and she just goes along with anything. Three x-rays of her chest and 5 minutes later, we’re back to waiting. I remember thinking to myself in that moment, “I hate waiting.” Her vet walks over and with a large smile says, “her lungs look clear!” I could hear my husband breathe a sigh of relief.
Now, whats next? Amputation. The harsh reality. The vet comes over with a binder and has a seat next to us. He’s relieved to tell us Bubbles’ lungs look great. The cancer had not spread as of yet. He is however, concerned about her lymph node in that leg since it had looked enlarged in the first set of radiographs. He explained he felt like removing the lymph node together with the leg would ensure the cancer from spreading since he is not certain the lymph node was affected, or just reacting to the cancer. He said he would be amputating up high, creating an incision tucked underneath her belly, and that would be it. Next, the cost.
I was freaked out when he showed us the chart. For a 50 lb dog, her surgery would range from $2,000-$4,000. She currently weighed 53 lbs, so our goal was losing those 3 lbs and getting her in the right range for cost. Still, how? We had spent everything to get to this point and had nothing left. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for this vet, this doctor, everything he has done for us. He was willing to cut the surgery cost in half! Yet, we still needed a couple grand to save my baby girl. We were sent home to figure it out, but he only gave us 3 weeks of assurance..
The Phone Call
Tuesday afternoon my stomach was in knots, my eyes swollen from days of crying on and off, on and off. I still couldn’t bear to look at my sweet girl and know she was hurting. That this happened to her, and timing was everything. I knew all this had to happen quickly, and I am just so anxious to hear what it is we need to do. Sometime around 1pm, my phone rings and its the vet. I could feel my heart pounding. On the other end of the line, he asks me how I’ve been, “hanging in there” I say. The news was as expected. Bubbles has a soft tissue sarcoma enveloping her back right ankle. It has destroyed and eaten away at the bone, and we have a couple options depending on our next set of x-rays. The vet had to get an x-ray of her lungs to make sure they were clear and the cancer had not spread. If indeed her lungs are unscathed, our only real option is leg amputation. Those words, ugh.. they still leave an awful taste in my mouth.
So, our next step was to get into the vet as soon as we could for this x-ray. I was freaking out. We had dug up some money for our last visit, but I wasn’t expecting any of this and we were dead broke. In my earlier years of being childless, I spent a fortune on a purse. I still had it and I still adored it but, I adored my Bubbles so much more. Quickly I posted the bag for sale on facebook, and craigslist asking $550 since it was a $700+ bag. I still dont know how I spent that much on a single item.. I was stupid and irresponsible then. A couple days passed and I hadnt gotten any serious buyers. Lightbulb! Ebay, why hadnt I tried ebay yet?! I get my husband to help me post (I am by no means computer savvy). Two minutes later, it sold! My stupidity as a single, childless woman paid off! I grabbed my phone, called, and told the doctor we’d be there in just a couple days.
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